Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.

that was deep.

you never think it could happen to you.

and then it does.

holy wow.

i know i said this last time, but i mean it.

there's more to come.

"i like you, you're a mess of good things"

how curious.

im exhausted, and to make things worse.. its raining. the best way to go to sleep.

i'll update this doohinky tomorrow. this is just a teaser. :D

yep.

i decided it was finally time to update.

its been a real rough time lately, but hopefully things will start to ease up.

been partying quite a bit as of late, and ive had the best damn time. and even managed to behave myself in the mean time! ever since prom night, anyway.

so, minus the douchebag parents and the shady FAKE pansies, ive been having a kick ass time. hanging out with people i havent seen in years (kayla), meeting tons of new people, and spending time with the people that i had started to grow away from.

ive also decided that im the "just one of the guys" type of girl. definitely not seen as dating potential, but always reminded that i'm "cute and tight as hell". gee thanks! thats all ive ever hoped for in my entire life. =D

who knows what it is. i havent dated hardly at all, and talking to people? i cant even tell who's 'talking' and who's not. i guess its better to just keep it all on the same level, im pretty damn tired of getting the 'talk' or being kicked to the curb and shut out completely. ive seriously got to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve.

you know, i always start out right after a disappointment saying ill be better the next time, take it slow and keep a level head, and not get my hopes up. fuck that. my heart always manages to work its way around my head. it never fails. oh, the joys of consistent disappointment. =)

im happy for all of those i know that are in relationships, or have been in extended ones, and im really glad they're getting to experience it.

i suppose i'll just have to wait my turn.

no point in being with someone just to "have someone". its a waste of both my time and theirs if its not sincere.

i wouldnt want anyone to even pity me like that.. itll just end up hurting in the end.

but you know? its the summer. if i meet someone, i meet someone. if not, so what?

definitely ready to move out. on the upside of the past few weeks i was offered three different positions. two in marketing, and one at a country club in rockwall. the marketing positions were bogus, but the club sounds like fun. if im wanting to get into bartending in college, which i do plan on, the experience will definitely help me out. waitressing, working the bev cart on the course, and working the cabana cocktail bar is going to be lots of fun and pay pretty well.

anything is better than that god awful workout place. loved the people, hated the pay and the job. i was paid to do hardly anything, and i cant stand that.

i'm up for just about anything lately. planning on piercing my tongue and quite possibly my nose. if some guy that decides he has the balls enough to take me on and in turn enjoy every minute of it? fabulous. to those who think they dont want to bother or buy into the idea of me being 'just one of the guys'--> what have you got to lose except the chance by passing it up?

one of the things i always hated was being left to ask: what if?

things to look forward to? working = money. ethan's parents being gone for a week = nonstop party for me and the lakeview crew. road trip with carly and aprille = escaping the city and the parents and doing whatever the hell we want. moving out between august 21-29 = leaving behind everything ive ever known and starting over.

i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is i care too much

just FYI: for those of you who think you can get away with playing me or playing with my head? eat it and beat it. i wont take being walked on anymore.

oh snap. lauren learned how to screw with the colors.